161st Edition - 8/21/07

• Fantasy: It's all over

My two fantasy football drafts are over. In one league I had the first pick, taking Tomlinson, and therefore winning the entire league. So that's nice.

• Vick: I've been thinking

I cannot walk in Vick's shoes. Apparently he grew up with different values than I did. He didn't find his actions towards dogs he owned awful. If it was cock fighting, society wouldn't have this problem with him. I'm not saying he should walk free, but the reason everyone has a problem with this is their love for dogs. I know people who feel torturing a dog is the same or worse than doing this horrible actions to a human. Please keep in mind Pacman Jones supposedly beat up a stripper. No one seems to be shedding a tear for the stripper.

• Cubs: It was a good run

We are back to being tied for first. After winning the first two games against the Cardinals, getting one canceled, and losing the last of the series ... I feel empty. The Cubs are tied with the Brewers and 3 games ahead of the Cardinals.

• Stuff

Funny, the only reason I felt like blogging today was because I discovered this clip from the Jimmy Kimmel Show. Thanks to Mike D.

124th Edition - 3/27/07

124 - The Antonov An-124 is the largest aircraft ever mass produced. It can carry 330,000 lbs.

• Bears: Briggs on the brink

Lance Briggs' agent agent Drew Rosenhaus, has said the Washington Redskins are putting together a trade offer in an attempt to get the disgruntled Briggs away from Chicago ... This might be completely true, but it's coming from the mouth of Rosenhaus. I trust the president more than this man.

• Fantasy Baseball: so sad

I am officially disappointed in myself. I have three fantasy baseball teams. I don't know how it happened. One after another. And I don't even like two of my teams. The only one I am truly happy with is where I took Alfonso Soriano, Derrek Lee, Carlos Zambrano and Aramis Ramierz with my first four picks. Now I have to end this entry so I can hurry and go do some more studying so I can be ready for opening day.

• Read this - from Jason Whitlock. click here

• Stuff

*Yesterday I finished Season 2 of "Deadwood" and watched the season finale of "Battlestar Galactica," so I am thinking that might have put 3/26 in my top ten for TV days.

*Hugo Weaving (Mr. Smith from "Matrix") will be the voice for Megatron in "Transformers."

*It's a light day today. I am sorry.

65th Edition - 12/12/06

• Bears: Yes, I'm calling it a comeback

Even though Rex Grossman wouldn't want the Bears 42-27 victory over the Rams to be known as his comeback game, that's exactly what it was.

Grossman was 13/23 for 200 yards and 3TD. More importantly, the Bears ran 34 times verses 23 passes. I believe that is the key to their future.

Devin Hester is insanely good. He returned two kickoffs, of 94 and 96 yards. He had six TDs on the season (a record) and perhaps is the most brilliant draft pick of all time. Perhaps.

Click here to see what the current playoff schedule would look like. Remember, the 3rd team plays the 6th, and the 4th and 5th play each other ... with the 1st and 2nd teams getting first-round byes.

• NBA: Balls

The NBA is switching their balls. The current set of balls are too slippery, especially when sweat gets on them. Sweaty balls. Plus, the older the balls get, the harder they are to grip. They lose their feeling. Nobody likes playing with this current set of balls. The men have always said they don't like playing with these balls, and the women would probably say the same thing if the men ever stopped playing with them long enough to let the women touch them. But, historically, women have never been as good as playing with the balls as men.

The leather balls will be back December 1.

• Fantasy: the playoffs begin

1. 7th Place: 10-4, 1292.52
2. bo knows: 9-5, 1297.56
3. Turd Ferguson: 9-5, 1296.02
4. T.D. Parker: 8-6, 1339.44 (me)
5. Shane Falco: 8-6, 1331.04
6. the hunt begins: 8-6, 1289.58

I made the playoffs by 8 points and have to play 7th Place (Tomlinson) in the first round. Prognosis, negative.

• Stuff

The Scrubs people have put their voices on the "Charlie Brown Christmas Special." Click here

63rd Edition - 12/8/06

• WSOPC (World Series of Pop Culture)

Once again, I am at my work computer and can't upload the necessary photos... So with that said, the update on "World Series of Pop Culture" will be happening on Monday. Promise. I mean it. Listen, I swear. Come on, don't give me that look. Good lord, not everything is my fault. Get off my back. I hate you. Is that what you needed to hear? I. Hate. You.

• MLB: Bonds is back

Barry Bonds signed a one-year deal with the San Fran Giants (the only team that can love him), for $16 million. He needs 22 home runs to break Hank Aaron's record. It should happen if his knees hold up. So we are stuck watching Sportscenter URGENT UPDATES for one more year. I guarantee Bonds will hit the history making home run at home. No way he hits it on the road.

• NBA: High

Damn. The Suns beat the Nets 161-157 in double OT. It was 133-133 at the end of regulation thanks to a three-pointer by Steve Nash with two seconds left. Jason Kidd had the most impressive line with 38 points, 14 rebounds, 14 assists. Thirteen players had double digits in points.

• Fantasy World

Turd Ferguson: 9-4, 1214.28
7th Place: 9-4, 1181.86
T.D. Parker: 8-5, 1245.14 (this one's me)
Shane Falco: 8-5, 1223.46
the hunt begins: 8-5, 1222.92
bo knows: 8-5, 1176.20

Those are the top six team in my Fantasy Football league. Bonus points if you know what my team name is a reference to. Four of us with make the playoffs, two won't.
I would be more excited, accept I am going against Willie Parker and he already had 26 points last night against the Browns.

• The Picks

the update ...
j NCAA: (23-16-1)
billy z NCAA: (27-12-2)
j NFL: (18-23-3)
mike d NFL: (20-22-2)

NCAA: Billy and I will be taking a break as he enjoys his comfortable lead.

NFL:
Falcons -3 over Buccaneers
Vikings +1.5 over Lions
Titans +1 over Texans

• Stuff

I only saw one of the flicks opening this weekend ...

"Apocalypto" - It's a good action movie. Very similar flow to "Braveheart." There are some great chase scenes. I wish more directors would attempt to do what Mel Gibson has done. Instead of making a mindless action movie, he has made a mindless action movie set in a world I didn't know. You only get a glimpse of the Mayan culture, but that is much better than what we are normally handed.
B

Here are the top 50 videos of 2006, presented by DoCopenhagen. They also have a link the the top 50 of 2005. That way you have something to do in the morning AND afternoon. Click here to go to the site

Did Ali invent Rap by Chuck Klosterman. Click here

54th Edition - 11/22/06

The Big T-day Extravaganza

OK, my next update will be on Monday, November 27. So I'll make this a long one (in other words, bare with me).

We'll get to the picks (at the end), the movies, some fluff and a little self-promotion ... But since it is Wednesday that means we start with the ...

• Weekly Bull: There's truth in the title (3-8)

Things aren't going well. The good news is that the Bulls just completed their fifth game on the annual circus road trip (the circus comes to town every year and forces the Bulls to have a big road trip). Yes, five games are done, but they have failed to win any of them. 0-5. With two games left at Philly and at NY, hopefully they can manage to finish 2-5.
This trip is a set back for the Bulls who should be one of the elite teams in the East. Now they are going to have to work hard just to get to .500 by the All-Star break (about 30 games away).

Inside the numbers:
Leading scorer - Luol Deng, 17.3 ppg (43rd in league)
Ben Wallace - 10.3 rpg (11th in league)
- 4.8 offensive rpg (1st in league)
Kirk Hinrich - 6.0 apg (19th in league)

• NCAA Basketball: Still a little early

Doesn't feel right talking about college hoops, but with Marquette defeating Duke (73-62) last night maybe I should start paying attention.

Top-ranked Florida is sick (good) right now. I mean, who would have thought they would have beaten power house Prarie View A&M (94-33). After all, Prarie View A&M had already beaten South West Assembly of God (61-57). If you can beat God, shouldn't you be able to beat Florida?

• Cubs: We need a pitcher

The signing of Alfonso Soriano is great. We still need help in the pitching department. One suggestion, Tom Glavine. The Mets have declined to pick him up for next season. He was good, not great, last season. But the Cubs need good pitchers, and after all -- crafty veterans are always a plus.

By the way, the Juan Pierre era is over after lasting just one year. He is signing with the Dodgers.

Also, in an interview yesterday Cubs' GM Jim Hendry said Soriano will play the outfield, but which position is still up in the air. He will be leading off though.

• MLB: The Final Awards

Not that anyone really cares or remembers how they were earned, but here are the 2006 MLB awards.

NL MVP: Ryan Howard
AL MVP: Justin Morneau
NL Cy Young: Brandon Webb
AL Cy Young: Johan Santana
NL Rookie: Hanley Ramirez
AL Rookie: Justin Verlander
NL Manager: Joe Girardi
AL Manager: Jim Leyland
NL Comeback: Nomar Garciapara
AL Comeback: Jim Thome

• Stuff

Watching Michael Richards rant and rave on stage, showing he is capable of spewing racism is awful to watch -- click here
Watching Michael Richards attempt to apologize on the David Letterman Show is awkward to watch -- click here

• Living in a Fantasy

Fantasy Football: Right now I am one game out of the playoff race, even though I have more points than anyone else in the league. I keep telling myself I'm the best and the competition always tries to rise up against the best ... Then I realize I am wasting too much thought on fantasy football. With three games left before the playoffs I think I need to win two. It's going to be tough.

College Football Pick'em: With two weeks left, I have a three game lead, over mike d. I need this win. For the season so far I have picked 134 out of 244 (all the Top 25 games). 55 percent is pretty good in the world of gambling.

• Quick Movie Reviews

The Fountain
Hugh Jackman carries this film by Darren Aronofsky. I have never been blown away by a Jackman performance until now. "The Fountain" tells the story of one man's journey through a thousand years to try and save his love (played by Aronofsky's real-life girlfriend Rachel Weisz). There are definitely times when you won't fully understand what Aronofsky is trying to say in this film, but the feelings and visually you are left with will more than make up for it.
Grade: B
Blatant Self-Promotion
Click here to read my interview with Darren Aronofsky

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny
Plot: Jack Black and Kyle Gass got their start on “Mr. Show with Bob and David” on HBO. Now they have a full-length film which tells the tale of JB and KG hungry for success, and trying to pay the rent. They set off on a quest for the pick of destiny, a legendary guitar pick that has helped many bands become rock legends. Black, Gass and director Liam Lynch (“Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic”) wrote the film, which also features new songs by the band.

Bottom Line: “Mr. Show” was on a decade ago, and this film feels about five years too late. Black and Gass still have good chemistry … but “Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny” hits us over the head that the chemistry is pot. And they probably have a point, the jokes would be funnier with a joint. That’s not a compliment. It starts off strong with Meat Loaf as Black’s father and that is just the beginning of cameos that include Amy Poehler, Ben Stiller, Ronnie James Dio, Tim Robbins and John C. Reilly (as sasquatch). The one truly laugh-out-loud moment came when Black and Gass discover their tattoos and name the band accordingly. The new songs don’t compare to “Tribute,” “F*ck her Gently,” and “Rock Your Socks.” Otherwise, it’s easy to watch and zips along pretty quick, but it’s not the greatest film of all time, as “The D” would have you believe. You would be much better off checking out Tenacious D in concert, buying their self-titled album, and waiting for this film on DVD … And have a burrito close by for when the munchies hit.
Grade: C+

• The Picks

Well, we learned some things last week --
1. I can still win a weekend with the NFL (I went 2-1)
2. billy z clearly learned how to make a post after the games are played (it's the only explanation for him going 3-0 last weekend)
3. mike d should stick to playing fantasy football

With the big t-day weekend upon us, we're going to add some more games to the mix...

Previous Standings:
j NCAA: (19-12-1)
billy z NCAA: (22-8-2)
j NFL: (14-18-3)
mike d NFL: (13-20-2)

j NCAA
Boston College -4 over Miami
Texas -13 over Texas A&M
LSU straight up over Arkansas
Tennesee -19 over Kentucky
Oklahoma -5.5 over Oklahoma St
USC -7 over Notre Dame

Last year, I went 3-0 on my Thanksgiving Day parlay. And since n=1, I will always go 3-0 on my Thanksgiving Day parlay. That's how gambling works, right?
j NFL
t-day games:
Dolphins -2.5 over Lions
Buccaneers +11 over Cowboys
Chiefs +1 over Broncos
Sunday games:
Steelers +3 over Ravens
Bengals -3 over Browns
Bears +3 over Patriots

That's it. That's enough to keep you full until next Monday. As always, look for billy z and mike d to add their picks in the comments section.

29th Edition - 10/16/06

• Iowa: Ouch Babe

The Iowa Hawkeyes decided to end their season early this year ... with a loss to the Indiana Hoosiers 28-31. They simply couldn't stop the Hoosier jugernaut. Recently, Iowa has had a chance to be great, and every year they make a mistake. Last year was Northwestern, the years before that it was Iowa State.
Next week the Hawks play Michigan. I don't think I want the Hawkeyes to win, because if they do it's just another season with another HUGE mistake (the Hoosiers loss). I still assume we will lose to the Buckeyes and the Wolverines in any given year, as does most every other team in the BIG TEN. It's what we do against those other teams that truly matters.

• NCAA Football: The Computers

The BCS poll is out with Ohio State as #1, USC at #2, and Michigan is #3.
USC beat an unranked team by 7. Michigan beat an unranked team by 7.
The AP Poll has Michigan at #2. I assume this is because the press would like to see Ohio State and Michigan play each other later in the year at #1 and #2.

• NCAA Football: The Fight

Miami vs. Florida International. Thirteen players are suspended from the Hurricanes, also known as "The U" since players can't remember the name of their school. Florida International suspended 18 players.
Click here to see the fight.
Look for fists, helmets, cleats and the insane amount of cheapshots.
Lately, it seems like it is getting harder for players to understand fans want insane amounts of violence, but only when it is in a legal play.

• My Mets

Mets 12, Cardinals 5 (The Series is Tied 2-2)
OK, so I was wrong. The series won't be decided by stolen bases. It's the long ball with Beltran and Delgado showed up last night. I hope the rain shows up in St. Louis tonight. Glavine is pitching on three days rest. He isn't good at it, and he knows he isn't. That's trouble
Name of the Game: Shawn Green. Why? Why not?

• NFL: Where Oakland is the only team that truly sucks

The Titans, Buccannears and Lions, oh my, they all won their first game of the season. The Raiders continue to shine in the loss department.

The Defeateds: Raiders
The UnDefeateds: Bears (play tonight vs. Cardinals), Colts (Bye week)

Speaking of the Bears, this is the first time in a long time when NO ONE is mentioning the possibility of the a loss. No talk of a "let-down" game, or Leinart being an unknown factor ... OK, I'm going to stop, I'm making myself nervous.

The Best
QB
Jake Delhomme: 365 yards, 2TD, 2INT (against the Raven's D)
Marc Bulger: 360 yards, 3TD, 1INT (had a 21-7 lead and lost)
RB
Tiki Barber: 185 yards
Travis Henry: 178 yards, 1TD
worth noting: LaDainian Tomlinson had 4TD
WR
Steve Smith: 189 yards, 1TD (surprisingly, also against the Raven's D)
Roy Williams: 161 yards, 1TD
worth noting: Terrell Owens had 3TD

• The Land of Make Believe: Fantasy Recap

*The College Football Pick'em:
1. Chuck Long's Arm (me): 76 - my lead increased by one
2. Taste it (mike d): 73

*Fantasy Football:
I won again, in fact, I posted 142 points, with Gould still to play, my opponent had 62.
I am 4-2 and just hitting my stride. The league will be mine, oh yes, the league will be mine ... by the way, I still haven't won a fantasy league in my life 0-7.

• The Picks: Revisited - Oops

I for one, was a bit too confident. It's always a problem when you are SHOCKED when you lose a bet. Means you need to refocus a little and realize you are never as good as you think you are. I went 1-5 this weeknd. I have Michigan to thank for my one win. In fact, I ended up watching the Michigan vs. Penn State game at a Michigan bar in Chicago. Now I realize what my friends and I must look like at an Iowa bar: Idiots.

j NCAA: 1-2 (Season 11-6-1)
billy z NCAA: 2-1 (Season 11-5-2)

j NFL: 0-3 (Season 9-7-2)
mike d NFL: 2-1 (Season 10-7-2)
*That extra game that mike d picked last week is killing me.

24th Edition - 10/9/06

• MLB: The Final Four

The Mets made it look easy. Then again, so did the A's, Tigers and Cardinals. No series went to 5 games.
The Cardinals were facing the greatest collapse in the history of baseball, but once they got into the playoffs, they remembered how it was done. A suicide squeeze (love the play and the name) gave the Cardinals a four-run cushion and a 6-2 victory over the Padres.
The Tigers finished the season 19-31, and gave away the central division on the last day of the regular season. But they took out the Yankees in just four games.

The bottom line is, just get to the playoffs. You never know what can happen.

Looking ahead, the Mets will be tangling with the Cardinals. Carpenter pitched in last night's game against the Padres, so he won't be available for Game 1, which hopefully leads the Mets into the driver's seat.

By the way, rumor is that Joe Torre will be fired from the Yankees, and Lou Piniella will be his replacement. Even if Torre is available, I want Joe Girardi to manage the Cubs.

• NFL: Where the Bears would be ranked No. 1 in the AP and Coaches Poll

If you watch football, you were smacked over the head with Terrell Owens commentary, before, during and after the Cowboys vs. Eagles game. And none of it was that interesting or enlightening. The game however turned out to be great. The Eagles defense blitzed almost every play, just killing Bledsoe. And then he threw a INT in the closing seconds which was returned for the TD.
Bledsoe and Favre are at the same stage in their career--making too many bad decisions. The difference is, Favre is hurting a bad team, Bledsoe is killing a potential Super Bowl contender.

The Bears stepped all over the Bills 41-7, with the Bills TD coming in the final minutes of the game after Cedric Benson fumbled on the Bears 20-yard-line. So keep in mind, even though the Bears have outscore opponents 156-36 this season, they have been shutout 7-0 the last 3:00.

The Best
QB
Donovan McNabb: 354 yards, 2TD
Damon Huard: 288 yards, 2TD
RB
Frank Gore: 134 yards
Duece McAllister: 123 yards, 1TD
WR
Hank Baskett: 112 yards, 1TD
Joey Galloway: 110 yards, 1TD

• The Land of Make Believe (a recap of fantasy)

*If the Baltimore Ravens beat the Denver Broncos, I win my office pool for the week.
*I am currently in the lead of my College Pick'em tournament, where we pick all Top 25 games on Saturday.
1. Chuck Long's Arm (me): 65
2. Taste It (mike d): 63
There are 12 total teams
*I won my fantasy football game mainly because Antonio Gates out-dueled Willy Parker last night. Season record 3-2.

• The Picks: Revisited

NCAA
j : 3-0 (Season 10-4-1)
billy z: 2-1 (Season 9-4-2)

NFL
j: 1-1-1 (Season 9-4-2)
mike d: 0-1-2 (Season 7-6-2)

• Stuff

SNL
It just was not good. My fiance kept turning to me saying, "Why don't they just pay one guy to figure out how to end skits. That would be his only job." Couldn't agree more.
Funny SNL's for 2006/07: 0-2 (Dane Cook; Jaime Pressly)

Movies
"The Departed" was number one at the box office. (good job folks)
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning," which was terrible, made $19 million. (bad job folks)

20th Edition - 10/3/06

• Fantasy (Everybody's doing it)

I hesitate to talk about Fantasy Sports. Supposedly it is the biggest crime of the new century. But last night, in my league, "Shane Falco" led "Bo Knows" 110-109.58 (both had more points than anyone else in our league). Falco is in Italy for 10 days with his wife, but still managing his team. He started Brett Favre, interceptions get negative points, QB yards aren't worth much ... final score Falco (108.2) - Bo Knows (109.58). Hurts.

• Steriods (Everybody's probably doing this too)

A federal prosecutor said there were "significant inacurracies" in the report the Los Angeles Times made, sighting Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Miguel Tejada and others to steriod use. So who knows what that means at this point. Here's the thing, WE'LL NEVER KNOW. We won't know officially who did steriods, HGH or anything else. I don't know if the public would even care unless Bonds was going after the all-time home run record. Take that away coupled with the fact that most reporters hates Bonds because he hates them, and it doesn't become front page.

IF baseball didn't have the home run race between McQwire and Sosa, it would have taken a lot longer for baseball to come back. IF someone (reporter, commissioner, manager, player, fans) would have demanded a steriod investigation back then, this wouldn't be a problem. NO ONE wanted to stop the home runs.

We need to move on, the only way that happens is to decide it was the Steriod Era, allow all the stats, and cheer like hell that someone like Pujols or Howard destroy all home run records.

I'm sick of players making comments such as, "I have never tested positive." Then reporters decide that means he found a way to pass all his tests.

• NFL (Hopefully not everybody is going to do this)

Albert Haynesworth is suspended for five games. Click here for the full story and video. He stomped on the head of Andre Groude, who's helmet had already been knocked off. Five games is a ton, and he deserved it. Keep in mind, for something that happened on the field, this is the longest suspension EVER. The pervious long was when a Green Bay Packer threw Jim McMahon to the ground in 1986. He got two games.

• My Twins (moving on to happy thoughts)

Home field advantage and at least two pitching performances by Johan Santana. That should be enough to get past the A's. I don't care for the best-of-five series, it doesn't give an accuarate test of who's the best team ... But in this case, I'll take it.

By the way, it's the afternoon game, so fire up the espn.com at 12:09 central, and enjoy the rest of your work day.

Player of the Game (Besides Santana): Punto.

• My Mets (a little nervous, we'll talk tomorrow)

• Stuff (Saturday Night Live)

I forgot to talk about SNL on Monday (a new weekly feature, since I am the only one who watches it religiously). Dane Cook isn't all that funny. He's lost something for me. Brian Williams had a nice cameo during the news, but Seth Myers looked nervous and talked WAY too fast during his first time doing "Weekend Update" with Amy Poehler. "Weekend Update" also has a new set, which looks like my elementary school's wallpaper, high class all the way.
Funny SNL's for 2006/07: 0-1 (Dane Cook)