52nd Edition - 11/17/06

• NCAA Football: Game O' The Year

No. I am not talking about Northwestern vs. Illinois. Nor am I speaking of Iowa vs. Minnesota (even though the winner gets a pig).

#1 THE Ohio State University vs #2 Michigan Wolverines

As an Iowa Hawkeye alum, I think I am supposed to have hatred for both these teams, probably one more than the other ... But on Saturday afternoon at 2:30, I really won't care. All I hope is that the score is close. Hype has a way of making these "once in a lifetime" games a disappointment. If the score can be within eight points, I will be in college football heaven.

Speaking of heaven, ESPN has decided the game is "Judgement Day." It would be SO awesome if the loser got banished to hell. That would probably make the kids play harder.

* Also - USC starts a streak of playing Cal, Notre Dame and then UCLA. If they win out, expect to see them play the winner of the Big Ten in the BCS Championship game.

* Iowa is currently bowl eligible. Montana was the division II team, not Northern Illinois. But I guess we can count that as a win every so often. So here's a sarcastic yippee! to the Iowa Hawkeyes for making it to a bowl game (can you tell I have gotten used to them finishing in the top 10?).

• NFL

Game of the Week is the Chargers vs. the Broncos, Sunday night. I know this because NBC has told me about the "flex" schedule and all of its glory. "Flex" stands for "Flexible," which is WAY to big of a word for the TV world. The idea is that NBC makes sure there is a good game on Sunday night. Thank you NBC, especially for dumbing it down.

NFL Real Talk with Jason Whitlock

• The Picks: As always, look for billy z and mike d's picks in the comments

so far this season:
j NCAA: 19-9-1
billy z NCAA: 19-8-2
j NFL: 12-17-3
mike d NFL: 13-17-2

j NCAA:
Illinois -2.5 over Northwestern -- I like Juice.
Iowa +2.5 over Minnesota -- The word is fight, Fight, FIGHT for Iowa!
Ohio State -7 over Michigan -- I believe Ohio State is going to win. Seven is a lot of points, and it makes me want to take Michigan, but Michigan's offense can disappear at times, Ohio State's can't.

j NFL: On the road again ...
Colts -1 over Cowboys
Steelers -3 over Browns
Bears -7 over Jets

• Stuff

Quick Film Reviews

Fast Food Nation
Richard Linklater has taken the non-fiction bestseller and make it into a drama about all angles of the fast food corporation. Unfortunately, none of the punches he takes hits hard enough. The cast is impressive as always with a Linklater film (Ethan Hawke, Avril Lavigne, Bruce Willis, Wilmer Valderrama, Greg Kinnear, Luis Guzman, Patricia Arquette, Kris Kristofferson). Willis' cameo is probably the most fun, but the movie is a bit slow and the impact scene is supposed to be the kill floor at the end, though interesting, I didn't feel like I was learning anything new. All that being said -- Linklater was fantastic to sit down and talk to -- click here to read the interview.
Grade: C+

Happy Feet
It's creepy. This animated flick is about an Emperor Penguin who dances instead of sings. It felt like I was watching "Moulin Rouge" and "March of the Penguins," good in theory, not in practice. But more importantly it answers questions such as --
Q: What if Elvis and Marilyn Monroe had a child?
A: It would sound a lot like Frodo Baggins.

Q: Will it offend anyone that Robin Williams overdoes impressions of a black voice and an Argentinian voice?
A: Probably not, somehow everyone will think that's great.

Q: Why would humans want to save penguins?
A: Because they are cute and dance when we want them to.

The film is fluff through the first 2/3. Then Mumble (Elijah Wood) leaves his parents Memphis (Hugh Jackman) and Norma Jean (Nicole Kidman) to discover why their food is disappearing. Will kids find the zoo creepy? Will anyone understand the timeline doesn't make sense in this film? I have no idea. It's best not to think about.
Grade: C-

Casino Royale
Plot: Bond is back. “Casino Royale” is based on the original novel by Ian Fleming and is considered a prequel to all the other adventures. This time Daniel Craig (“Road to Perdition,” “Layer Cake”) is Bond, James Bond. On his first “007” mission Bond must stop Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) from winning a high-stakes poker game.
Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), a Treasury official, is assigned to assist him. There is plenty of time for chases, romance, martinis and torture since the film is two hours and 24 minutes long.

Bottom Line: Since this is Bond’s first mission, he’s rough around the edges and Craig’s Bond has a bigger ego than all that have come before him. This remains the highlight of the film. Unfortunately, the rest doesn’t keep up with Craig and we are left with similar problems the recent Bond films have had. There is not a great bad guy, just guys who report to other guys. I thought I was getting the story of how James Bond got his start, but that really only takes five minutes, and then we are off to the races with over-the-top action sequences, which are easy on the eyes.
The film comes to a stretching halt when Bond … “bonds” with Vesper … It takes so long you’ll think you are watching “James Bond: The Love Story.”
Two more things, the film does a terrible job assuming the audience doesn’t know how to play Texas Hold’em, and the ending is simply a “to be continued …” to the next installment.
I know, I sound like I am ranting, but I had high hopes that this would be the beginning of something brilliant. After all, in the cinematic world, “B” stands for Bond. Unfortunately, I have to add a minus to it.
Grade: B-

51st Edition - 11/16/06

• NBA: ouch

Kenyon Martin is going to miss the remainder of the season due to arthroscopic surgery on his right knee. Sure that is bad news for the Nuggets, but it means we will get to see former Iowa Hawkeye Reggie Evans a little bit more this year. That's good news for everyone, who knows how many more crotches he can grab in those extra minutes. No idea what I'm talking about? click here

Adam Morrison isn't hurt, though he did damage to the Spurs (wow, I should be on TV saying these lines). Morrison scored 27 and the Bobcats beat the Spurs in OT. I wish they would describe his talent as "wispy." So it would match his moustache.
"That Morrison is dangerous, he torched the Spurs last night," said Man #1.
"Yeah, he's wispy," said Man #2.
See ... it works.

• Cubs: Hope they know what they are doing

The Chicago Cubs could have hired Joe Girardi, who was just named Manager of the Year for the NL. I hate living in the world of make believe, but whenever Piniella and the Cubs drop four in a row, I'm going to be imagining a Girardi led team for the next 20 years.

• Stuff

Borat: Cohen speaks to Rolling Stone
Click here to read an excerpt of Cohen (as himself) talking about the film and character that has taken over the box-office.

Scrubs is coming back ... with a Hero? Masi Oka (Hiro Nakamura on "Heroes") has long had a recurring role on Scrubs as Franklyn. Bill Lawrence wants to bring him back ... with the special powers. By the way, I watched the first episode of "Heroes" last night. It was good, not great. I assume I'll like it more as it goes on. I think I like the painter who can see the future (and has a heroin addiction) the best. Though he might be dead.

Coming Tomorrow: The Picks, Quick Movie Reviews (Casino Royale, Happy Feet, Fast Food Nation), THE Ohio State vs. Michigan

50th Edition - 11/15/06

• I'm 50! (50th Edition)

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Sally O'Malley. I'm proud to say that I am 50 years old. I'm not one of those gals who's afraid to tell her real age, and I like to ... kick!, stretch!, and KICK! I'm 50! 50 years old! 50 years old. Not afraid to hide my age, 50!

• The Weekly Bull (Season Record: 3-4)

Tuesday Night: Bulls 99, Mavericks 111
There is a new starting five for the Bulls ... and it led to a loss against the Mavericks. Andres Nocioni and Chris Duhon are now starting with Ben Wallace, Kirk Hinrich and Luol Deng. Ben Gordon (who has been shooting awful) and P.J. Brown now come off the bench.
Perhaps more importantly the road trip from hell has begun. The circus is in town for Chicago which means seven straight road games. Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Los Angeles Lakers, Denver, Philadelphia and New York.
With the expectations high for this team, a 3-4 record for the road trip would be acceptable.

Some Numbers:
Since 1999, the Bulls are 4-42 on this annual road trip (keep in mind they went 3-3 during it last year)
Hinrich: 18.3 ppg
Deng: 18.0 ppg
Ben Wallace: 10.0 rpg
Ben Gordon: 22% from 3pt range

• NCAA Basketball: Knight Strikes!

Catchy title, boring story. Michael Prince, one of Knight's players, wasn't looking Knight in the eye during a time-out. Knight moved Prince's face quickly (a small slap) to get his attention. Here is the full story
There is really only one question I could think of asking Knight - "Why not just yell at him to get his attention?" Otherwise the story is simply a chance to bring up other Knight incidences and sell papers.

• MLB: NL Cy Young

Yup, baseball has finally gotten around to voting on the best pitcher of the regular season ... insert yawn here ...
1. Brandon Webb (only had 16 wins)
2. Trevor Hoffman
3. Chris Carpenter
4. Roy Oswalt
5. Carlos Zambrano

• Cubs: A new second baseman

Mark DeRosa had a career year with the Texas Rangers, hitting .296, 13 HR and 74 RBI. Now he is a Cub. 3 years, $13 million. I guess this means Ronny Cedeno is in trouble.

• Stuff

Every year, Jones Soda comes out with holiday flavors. It's for charity, so that makes these flavors OK ... Dinner Roll Soda, Turkey and Gravy, Sweet Potato, Green Pea, and Antacid.
Chicago folks can buy it at Cost Plus World Markets.

• Book 'um Dano, I'm 5-0!

49th Edition - 11/14/06

• Cubs: same faces, new price tags

Aramis Ramirez walked away from the final two years on his contract (4-year, $41 million) because he knew he could get more.

The Cubs walked away from Kerry Wood, who was set to make $13.5 million. Instead they paid him a $3 million buy-out to negate his contract.

They are both coming back.
Ramirez signed a 5-year, $75 million (paying him more than Derrek Lee)
Wood signed a 1-year, $1.75 million deal that could be worth $6 million if he stays healthy and regains a starting position.

The nice thing here, both men would have made more money if they had gone elsewhere. Ramirez would have been considering the top free agent (along with Alfonso Soriano - who the Cubs are going to look into) - and the market would have paid him about the same per year for the a six-year deal.

And there is always a team that would take a chance on Wood. He could prove to be a decent reliever/starter, and if that's the case, the Cubs got a bargain. As long as they don't plan on Wood being good, it's a steal.

The need still remains for more: Barry Zito, Jason Schmidt, Carlos Lee or Soriano need to put on the blue pinstripes.

• Stuff

"NBC Nightly News" and "Meet the Press" are both going to be available for free on iTunes in video format. Be careful and choose wisely, only one of them will make you smarter.

I didn't go to Lollapoalooza this summer in Chicago. The chance of 100 degree weather and little money in my pocket made it easy. Now I can buy some sets from the live show. Brilliant. click here to browse the catalog

• My Tivo is happy and sad

"Friday Night Lights" just got picked up for a full season. It's a dead heat between this and "Studio 60" for my new favorite show. Plus, I am about to start watching "Heroes," and I still sit through "30 Rock." Good lord, I love NBC. I watch more NBC show than any other network. I didn't even know it. Anyway, "Lights" is a good thing.

Now onto my Tivo being sad ... This Thursday night I have to drag out my old friend VCR. "Earl," and "Office" are super-sized, followed by "30 Rock" on it's new night. This means I have decided "Grey's" gets the videotape treatment on the second TV. By the way, "Grey's" hasn't been good lately. Izzie. I cringe every single time she is on the screen. And the "Mc" thing has run it's course. I don't McCare.

• The Rankings

I'm in the mood for a list. Here are my TV rankings for this season so far (not including sports) ... It's a combination of my excitement to see a show and my annoyance if I miss an episode (though I haven't missed an episode yet).

1. The Office
2. Studio 60
3. Friday Night Lights
4. Battlestar Galactica
5. Lost
6. Grey's Anatomy
7. Saturday Night Live
8. My Name is Earl
9. 30 Rock

Keep in mind, this is all I watch right now. "Rescue Me" would be in the top three if it was on right now, and I am about to get caught up on "Heroes" -- give me a couple weeks.

What about you? Or is my list perfection so there is no need for another?

48th Edition - 11/13/06

• Bear with me: It's a play on words

Bears 38, Giants 20
I was convinced Rex Grossman was one interception away from being benched last night for Brian Griese. But thanks to a draw play with 2:00 left on 3rd and VERY long, the Bears went from looking horrendous, to dominating the Giants. At the 2:00 mark it was 3-13, with the Bears only having 50 yards of offense.
Also - Devin Hester returned a FG 108 yards. He even played it up like he was going to down the missed FG in the end zone. Hester is a train wreck, you have to watch, and it will be ugly. We just never know if it will be ugly for the Bears or their opponents.

• NFL

Chargers 49, Bengals 41
Steelers 38, Saints 31
There was scoring in the NFL, let's see how that affected the best.

The Best
QB
Carson Palmer: 440 yards, 3TD
Drew Brees: 398 yards, 1TD
Steve McNair: 373 yards, 3TD, 2INT
RB
Willie Parker: 213 yards, 2TD
Frank Gore: 159 yards, 1TD
Tiki Barber: 141 yards
WR
Chad Johnson: 260 yards, 2TD
Donald Driver: 191 yards, 1TD
Marques Colston: 169 yards

• Hawkeyes: don't look, I'm hideous

The Hawks lost to Wisconsin. They are 2-5 in the Big Ten, 6-5 overall. I might be wrong, please correct me if I am, but the Hawks must beat Minnesota to be bowl eligible. You need six wins and the Hawks only have five since one was against Northern Illinois, not a Division I school.

• NCAA Football: Real Quick

Here are the latest BCS rankings. Doesn't matter much right now, since USC still has three games to play. I find it very annoying that Big Ten teams have one game left and others still have three to play. Can't a schedule be made that has everyone wrap up at the same time? Also, it would help if AP and Coaches polls didn't start until week 5. That way people wouldn't have to explain the reason Rutgers isn't No. 3 right now--because no one thought they would be good.

• The Picks: revisited

j NCAA: 2-1 (19-9-1)
billy z NCAA: 3-0 (19-8-2)
It's insane how good billy and I are.
j NFL: 1-2 (12-17-3)
mike d NFL: 1-1 (13-16-2) he has the Bucs +9.5 tonight
It's insane how bad mike and I are.

• SNL: We have a winner

Funniest Saturday Night Live in years.
The show had Christina Aquilera, Martin Short, Steve Martin, Tony Bennent and Paul McCartney ... not to mention Alec Baldwin hosted.
The funniest sketch was Baldwin and Kristen Wiig as new carpool partners.

So, for the season -- SNL: 3-2
Funny: Alec Baldwin, John C. Reily, Hugh Laurie
Not Funny: Dane Cook, Kate Hudson

*I'll talk about the Cubs (Ramirez and Woods signing) tomorrow.