4th Edition - 9/08/06

It's Friday, which means I gaze into the crystal ball, analyze my 9-point system, or simply throw darts at a sports page -- PREDICTIONS!

• College Football

I wish THE Ohio State University would travel to Iowa later this year, undefeated, so my Hawkeyes could have a chance at knocking off a #1 team. Ain't gonna happen. Texas (-2) over Ohio State. I'm overthinking myself, but I like Notre Dame (+8) over Penn State. And even though my Hawks will win, they won't cover, Syracuse (+21) over Iowa.

• NFL

At the last minute I decided the Steelers were better than the Dolphins, and I was right (28-17). I think it had something to do with NBC being INSANELY pro-Steelers. When a network tries to pump up the crowd for 30 minutes, it's tough to gain control. Also, Daunte Culpepper picked up where he left off before the injury (0 TD, 2 INT). He looked shaky the whole night. The picks are the Bears (-3.5) over the Packers, the Colts (-3.5) over the Giants, and the Eagles (-5.5) over the Texans. There is a logic that says you should always take a home team that is getting points, I'm doing the opposite all three times.

• Basketball

Not much to say about basketball, except that I agree 100 percent with Chuck Klosterman about his recent article about creating a under-20 team to compete for USA Basketball. But it would also require honesty from programs and players. So don't look for this to happen anytime soon.

• Baseball

Ummm, first weekend of football, or watching baseball teams whose records hover around .500 trying to jockey for position to secure a wild card spot ... That's what I thought. See you on Monday.

• Stuff

Smile, it's Friday. Go crazy, just be careful. Remember what happened to Jessie.

3rd Edition - 9/07/06

• Baseball

Just as football begins, baseball is trying to remind us they still exist ... in the form of the Florida Marlins. Trying to name more than two Marlin players just got easier (Willis and Cabrera). Anibal (not Annabelle - but close) Sanchez threw a no-hitter last night, beating the Diamondbacks 2-0. How can you NOT want to be a Marlins fan right now? They are all young, three games back in the wild card race, they are led by the future Cub manager, Joe Girardi and they've won two World Series since their 1993 existence. I guess there are two drawbacks ... The team will probably relocate soon and if they don't, Sanchez will be a Yankee in the next two years. You just know there is a dad out there refusing to buy his kid a Sanchez jersey.

• Tennis

Men's tennis, without Agassi, is interesting? This is amazing. Andy Roddick is into the semi's. Blake is going to play #1 Federer (Cyborg Sampras - personality and all), and the fashion is more amusing than ever. After college football and the NFL, and perhaps a baseball game or two, and maybe golf (is Woods playing this weekend), I am totally watching tennis this weekend.

• More Madden and SNL

I know I should be done talking about this, but I forgot the most important thing about Madden hosting SNL in 1982. To introduce the show he said, "Take it, New York!" -- WHAT?! No "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"?

So I ask you, is this the only time this has happened? Are there other cases out there? I watch a ton of SNL and can't remember, but I do have a hideous memory.

• NFL

When the Dolphins and Steelers meet tonight, you can throw out the record books, mainly because they are both 0-0. Starting tomorrow, I will attempt to select three college and three NFL games. The goal is to simply finish over .500 - I don't think j has a chance though. (First time I have referred to myself in 3rd person)

Jason Whitlock of ESPN said Michael Vick needs to become a pocket passer to get the Falcons to the Super Bowl. This is like dating a model because she's hot, and then leaving her home all the time. The Falocns need to SHOW VICK OFF. That's the reason you take him on the team. You gamble that his body will hold up. Period. The QB position isn't the only thing that can get a team into the playoffs and making Vick into something he's not is just ignorance. Look for the Titans to try and change the throwing motion and ability of Vince Young as well.

• Stuff

There will be the occassion when I don't talk sport. In fact, it's happening right now.

Watch Conan O'Brien in the opening of the Emmy's. The TV world will be much funnier when O'Brien replaces Leno on the Tonight Show.

Ok Go is a Chicago band - they give great video.

2nd Edition - 9/06/06

• NFL

I hate the rule that says NFL players can't remove their helmet for a TD celebration. I mean, just look at Chad Johnson. Anyone willing to look like Welsey Snipes from "Demolition Man" deserves to show it off.

We are two days away from the first NFL game (on Thursday of course), and I just happened to watch an old SNL (airing sometime around 3 a.m. on Sunday morning) with host John Madden. It was from 1982 and had Joe Piscapo, Eddie Murphy and no one else you would recognize in the cast. Anyway, the man told stories for two skits. He just sat there and told stories. Buckwheat sang kids song in one skit & Andy Kaufmann made an odd appearance, so it wasn't a complete waste.

So now Madden and Michaels are calling Sunday night games for NBC. Does anyone under the age of 40 care? Can you get excited about Madden? If he isn't accidentally mocking his video game self ("Boom, he's on his back!") then what is the point?

• College Football

Thank goodness. The polls have Texas at #2 and THE Ohio State University at #1. Now these two teams can play for all the marbles ... Can you believe at one point, people were just dying to get their hands on ALL the marbles? Perhaps a new phrase can start. Any suggestions? If you are playing for ALL of something, what do you want it to be?

• Baseball

Yesterday, I stupidly attempted to make predictions about the MVP award and playoff race. I hate people like that. How do I know? It's more of what I hope, and I really only have one hope. I follow the White Sox because I am in Chicago, and once I stopped watching every Cub game (in late June) I decided to pay a little more attention to the Sox. Ideally, the last weekend of the season will have the Sox, Tigers and Twins tied. The Sox and Twins will go head-to-head with the Tigers playing the Royals. It will be the Royals first meaningful games in the last decade.

Johan Santana just ptiched himself into the Cy Young lead last night (8 innings, 2 hits, 12 K's). He's the first to 17 wins. More importantly, I was able to trade Scott Posednik and Scott Kazmir for Santana right before the All-Star break. On paper, it looked kind of equal ... And sorry for breaking the rule about talking about my fantasy team, but I'm playing the guy in the playoffs right now.

1st Edition - 9/05/06

• Football

College Football is back. Which means the NFL is moments away, and men everywhere finally can start ignoring their families/yard work/the rest of the world on the weekends ... Monday nights, some Thursday nights and random moments during the week while they are updating their Fantasy Football teams.

So what did we learn?
*Texas has the greatest name for a quarterback ever (Colt McCoy - 177 yards passing, 3 TD).
*Ohio State is potent on offense and impotent of D. And either THE Ohio State University or Texas will be out of the national championship picture after they play next weekend.
*Notre Dame is perhaps, just perhaps, slightly overrated. They eeked out a victory over Georgia Tech, 14-10. Next week - Penn State.
*It's always amusing to listen to local guys. During the Iowa vs. Montana game, they were talking Drew Tate as a Heisman candidate. The only way this is happening is if Iowa doesn't lose a game all season, and if Tate's new receiver Brodell actually hangs on to the ball. He dropped four by my count.
*Miami's season is now dependent on playing perfect football for the rest of the season and hoping that everyone else messes up at least once. Perhaps playing a highly ranked opponent early in the season isn't the smartest path, even if it's more entertaining for the viewers. The rest of college football knows this. Which is why only two ranked teams (Miami and Cal) lost this week.

• Baseball

The Cubs are a half game away from being the worst team in the worst league ... But, if Dusty had his horses healthy, I'm sure it would be a completely different story. Zambrano might be done for the season, so they can stop pretending he had a chance at the Cy Young. With less than a month left in the season, it's time to make some pointless predictions that are sure to go wrong ... But if they're right, you won't hear the end of it.

AL MVP: Derek Jeter
NL MP: Ryan Howard
AL playoffs: Detriot, Chicago, Oakland, New York
NL playoffs: St. Louis, New York, Florida, Los Angeles. World Series: Yankees vs Mets. Yawn.

• Golf

Tiger Woods won his 5th in a row at the Deutsche Bank Championship. He is tied for second with Ben Hogan for 6 in a row. Byron Nelson won 11 in a row. This streak is just as impossible as Joe DiMaggio's 56. But here's the difference, NO ONE in baseball is as good as Tiger is in golf. The sport is fairly boring when Tiger is winning every third tournament, but this streak is now becoming must watch for sports fans.

• Tennis

Andre Agassi is done with tennis. I can't imagine a reason I watch the sport now. He lost to Benjamin Becker in a four-set match that was much closer on paper. Agassi was a shell of his former self. I was just hoping he could pull a Jimmy Connors and make a run. After the match, Agassi sat and sobbed in his chair, soaking up the center court moment for the last time. That was a much better moment than his prepared speech to the crowd. But he deserved whatever he wanted to do after his final match. If it wasn't for his personality, tennis would have been very boring the last 21 years.

Good Day: Andy Roddick rolled over Becker and gives hope to America tennis, for at least one more day.

Bad Day: QB Jeff George was cut by the Raiders after just six days. Making this article, from ESPN Page 2's Jason Whitlock VERY pointless.

Worse Day: Cubs Catcher Michael Barrett was hit in the groin by a ball. He had bleeding inside his scrotum. Amazingly, he took an at-bat before stopping play. If you were curious, a bleeding scrotum takes about two to three weeks to heal.