84th Edition - 1/18/07

• Special Guest: Casual Ultimate
  

Casual Ultimate is two ladies known as Miss Casual and Ms. Ultimate. They are casual about ultimate frisbee. If you are thinking ultimate frisbee is the sport that uses frisbees to golf with ... I hate you. I truly do. I know the ladies through friends of the sport. I am semi-retired ... but will be coming out of retirement once again to play with other Iowa Hawkeye alum's in a tournament in Las Vegas at the end of the month, but enough about me ... Ladies, the space is yours.

Sports by the letters CU

We at casual ultimate are not sports experts. We do enjoy cycling and ultimate. Miss Casual even watches a bit of basketball but we can’t claim to be up on the current happenings in ball golf (as our disc-golfing friends call it) or pointy soccer (as Ms. Ultimate refers to football) or even regular soccer or baseball.

What we do know, however, is the sport of post Christmas shopping. The sales of the year occur during the weeks following the winter solstice and we make those sales our bitch.

Merino wool v-necks in three colors? Done.
Patterned tights? Of course.
New years dresses and big earrings? Come on now… look who you’re asking.

This time of year is not for the weak-willed however and there are a few moves you’re gonna need to navigate the carnival of spending and saving that is post holiday shopping. Luckily we are here to help you.

Ms. Ultimate always gets a triple double. That is, the triple play of talking on the phone, drinking coffee (which you need to keep your momentum up), and making a purchase, while getting a double digit discount.

Last Saturday, Miss Casual was almost the victim of a hat trick. Yours truly was being coerced into purchasing an absurdly pricey piece of headwear by Flattery from the hat’s ACTUAL designer who was in from New York. Who can resist such temptation? Eugenia Kim in person telling you the hat looks smashing? Thankfully we’re no amateurs so we made it out of there minus the hat in question.

The coup de gras, however, is the flagrant foul of throwing an elbow while securing the last cashmere sweater in teal in your size. This move is difficult to execute properly but upon mastery of a move like this, you move into the big leagues. Here’s Miss Casual getting owned by Tye.

Even with all of these MVP moves you’re gonna need constant hydration (coffee followed by lots of water), parallel parking skills, and loads of stamina to be able to make a lap through all the stores that intrigue you before you settle on your purchases. One can’t be too hasty. Patience is the key to assuring that you have better stuff than the other people you know. Remember that one cardinal rule and you can’t go wrong.

It takes skill, determination, and triumph of will to bring your A-game to these shopping days but we are available for further coaching at very reasonable rates. With that I’ll leave you to your strategizing. GO TEAM!